Fundamental Attribution Error (Don’t Be Too Quick to Judge)

When I grew up, I used to walk 5 miles just to get to school (*slight* exaggeration to illustrate a point). We didn’t have any air conditioners to shield us from the triple-digit temperature and humidity while trying to learn. When I grew up, we didn’t enjoy the conveniences that modern technology enables. And there are no shortages of these conveniences.

I drop my kids to the bus stop. The bus then takes them to the front of their respective schools where they will proceed to walk less than 100 steps to get in the door. They have a less physically demanding life than what I had growing up. At least that’s what I remember. Describing my “hardships” growing up is akin to the fish story where your recollection of your catch is always twice as big (minimum).

Is there anything more to this than a mere comparison? Yes there is. If you’re anything like me, you will view this from a lens of ingratitude. “They don’t know how good they have it.” Or “they wouldn’t last one minute in my childhood.” Well whose fault is that? They had no control over their experiences growing up. Just like you and me.

There is a theory called the “fundamental attribution error”. We tend to attribute unproductive behavior to the person’s inherent character. We automatically assume they’re lazy and unmotivated. That’s the easy way. It is much more difficult to look for an underlying cause to this undesirable behavior. Most times, there is a benefit to looking deeper. Suspend judgment and ask yourself deeper questions that may better explain the situation.

I have to remind myself not to judge my children against my childhood They’re two entirely different experiences. Our differences are because of our experiences We are products of our environment and our experiences.

Don’t be too quick to judge. There’s always a deeper reason driving behavior.