Rule 3: Make friends with people who want the best for you.

Cicero distinguishes between two forms of friendship- utilitarian and true.

Utilitarian relationships remain intact until it has outlived its purpose. It exists because there is a give-and-take aspect to the relationship. These relationships are judge on how useful they are. It isn’t true friendship.

True friendships are lifelong. True friends want nothing but goodness for their friends. In fact, it isn’t unheard of for true friends to try to outdo each other in kind actions towards one another. True friendships promote goodness in the participants. When goodness is no longer promoted, the relationship has turned sour.

True friendships need some tending. These relationships don’t happen overnight. They also are not automatic.

Some trends I’ve seen with true friendships:

• True friendships can only occur between two “good” people (Cicero).
• True friendship is rare.
• True friends never ask friends to do anything wrongful or hurtful.
• Friendships should be made carefully, cautiously, and slowly.
• Trust is the foundation of a lasting friendship.

To a large extent, we all know this. But this is difficult to implement sometimes. Especially when it comes to cutting off relationships with people who do not want the best for us. You should want the best for them as much as they’d want for you. It’s a reciprocal relationship.

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